Since birth, all of us possess our own personality, thought, and lust. Maybe everyone is different, maybe he is more ambitious than her. Being individuals, but once a relationship is built, the couple should gradually find out their partner’s need, then make it fall in place in favor of their future. However, sometimes everything is not what it seems, couples find it hard to negotiate with each other.
Instead of blaming on each other, they should try to figure out the cause which maybe comes from the lack of mutual understanding about the partner’s needs. Obviously, different people will have different problems, but in general, there are four major ones.
In a relationship, the most important thing to women is love, as for men, it is the respect.
In “Love and Respect” (Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, marriage expert), the author pointed out that love is the burning and basic need for female, while men want to earn respect from their woman. This is shown in our words and actions.
Women would like to hear three words “I love you” accompanied with considerate gestures and care. Men are attracted to the admiration with sweet words such as “You are incredible, I highly appreciate you”. In the modern society, Marriage Advice Centres often receive some questions and confessions such as : “I have worked hard to give her and her family the best things, why did she leave me ?” or “He is kind of useless, but always jealous of my achievements and now he cheats on me.
We could not judge them anyway because we are not in their position. However, maybe these husbands who are trying hard daily to make money, make their wives waiting hopelessly. While these wives turning down on their husband have to ask themselves why they have never looked on the bright side of their husband, then when he left her for another woman, they go crazy and blame it all on him.
In real life, everything could happen by accident. Men’s strength should harmonize with the female’s placidity. Thus, the relationship between two persons would be lasting and strong.
In term of sex, sensitiveness is the most important thing to the female, the frequency is the most important one to men.
All bread is not baked in one oven, but men tend to have the higher need while women suppose that quantity does not equal quality. It does not mean that men take the feeling of the other lightly, however, they would not feel self-pity and require the mutual interactions.
Many wives growl at the indifference of their husband during sex: no beginning, no caressing,… They soon fall asleep afterward, although their wives desire hugs, cuddle, whisper in her ears. To have joy and harmony during sexual intercourse, the male would rather pay attention to women’s sexual need.
In term of communication, the big concern of female is frequency, that of the male is efficiency.
Communication is an essential element for all kinds of relationships. In love, women would rather the partner listened to them, talked to them as much as possible. This is different from men’s view. They prefer the concise and efficient conversation. It is a distinction that disturbs many couples: while she is still talking to him, he does not pay attention to her words. That results in arguments between them.
The female should know how to control and express their feelings and emotions. If you want to find someone to chat, your husband may definitely not be a good choice. Remember that you also have other soulmates. On the other hand, men should sympathize with your partner.
In term of family, she needs the protection while he needs stability.
As people said “man built house and woman made it home”, women tend to make her home a safe place, where their husband takes responsibilities for it (finance, security, relationships…) . For men, they wish their home will be a location for them to rest and enjoy the tranquility after a busy working day. Each of families (especially with children) will have unpleasant moments, but once the couple joins hands to handle it, everything will be fine.