Monica is a western girl, born in a crazy land called Utah. Our love story was like a beautiful cowboy movie from the start.
Not much thought regarding the wedding. We didn’t sit around the kitchen table with her mother looking at the list of wedding gowns or on the wedding menu or anything like that. We spotted each other as the sunset in the frenetic desert town and burned for each other in an instant.
Close to the bone marrow, that’s my favorite description of my love life.
Now I know that because I am fortunate enough to live through, to survive, and to keep my marriage.
Ten years after my marriage, I got divorced, going back to a time of years with a terrible sunset sinking behind me.
I’m not saying that they don’t really love, that would be too shabby. I just want to say that I’m more like a dreamer than a thinking person. I never thought I would fall in love with the way Monica and I fell in love. We were together full of thunderstorms, amid the rain of bombs and shells of quarrels, but never thought of jumping out of that adventure.
When in love, most people simply dream of falling in love quickly, quickly, and really. But most people never even feel it.
The truth is, we might always be the type of person who is hard at work looking for the damn cliff to dance and the partner who dances beside us.
Three kids and a divorce, with a lot of anger, laughter, sadness, joy, gossip, chatter, eating pizza on the couch on Friday night, binge-watching HBO, love with a dog, losing a dog, money trouble, crushed personality, lost soul, daily heart reborn, Sunday sunshine … I see her bring me a beer in the bright sunlight Sunday. I found myself watching her get ready for work one weekday morning and I whispered to myself: “Dude. That’s your girlfriend. She’s a nice person, you’re a lucky man. Luck! ”.
And that means more to me than anything I can tell you.
For me, this is purely gravity, a natural attraction when being with my ex-wife. I believe we killed something “legal and official” to be able to bump into our own reincarnated version, put together.
Yes, we got divorced and dated again.
Love – or even the ability to love – is ever-changing. And even when I got divorced, I never wanted to leave her. She means too much to me. We bumped into each other again but were much more experienced and artistic.
These days, we live in two separate, financially separate houses and we focus on our three children.
This time around, we’ve created a more satisfying scenario for ourselves, in many ways we’re dating someone we’ve long lost in the chaos of a marriage. failure. That’s pretty cool, and it’s rare.
I’m still not smart enough to understand why the heart wants what it wants now, while the only thing it ever wants is the signed divorce papers. Divorce and the formalities used to send me to hell …
Monica curled her fingers into my palm. I looked over at her and she had an innocent smile from her childhood that she held back for a long time. I feel that is good.
I can date a lot of girls for the rest of my days, but I don’t think I want to be with anyone like with her. Even when we tried to get rid of this marriage, we couldn’t give up. Me and Monica, we’ll be fine.
When the rest of the world dreams of another love story, we are there again with our love story. There are still moments of confusion for a few seconds, but we’ll find a way again. Monica to me is true love. She has her own way of love, we have her own, and on the way to catch up on the new train, I believe the two of us will be happy again.